I have a lot of fears. I’m kind of a chicken. But here are five of my greatest fears:

1. Failure – Most people have standard fears like bugs or ghosts, but my biggest fear is failure. I’ve always been an independent person who expects the best from myself. It’s why I can be a poor loser when playing games, even though I know it’s just a game. It’s why I take each loss so hard. And because it’s so subjective, I’m never entirely sure what constitutes a failure. I try to remind myself that each “failure” brings about a new beginning.

2. Wasps and hornets – I often say I’m afraid of bees, but the truth is, I’m afraid of wasps and hornets. Bees and I have an understanding. We avoid one another. They help the earth produce. Wasps and hornets do nothing of the sort. They are a waste on this earth. And they’re mean little bastards. If I see one near me, I will do what it takes to remove myself from the situation. There is no fight or flight response here – it’s pure flight. Ex: Hornets built a nest twice by my front door last summer (my house is built on an ancient Indian bug ground or something), and each time I left the house I went through the garage or back door until someone destroyed the nest.

3. Heights – I’m not good with heights. They freak me out. Occasionally I like to force myself to look over railings in tall places or walk kind of near the edge of the bluffs in Doug’s town, but that’s it. No rollercoasters, no death-defying adventures. Oddly, I do feel the need to sit in a window seat when flying so that I can see when we lift off and the second we land (similar to having to watch a needle hit my skin) – it helps to know when it’s happening.

4. Forgetting lost ones – As many of you know, I lost one of the most important people in my life about a year and a half ago. It still affects me every day. Part of my struggle is figuring out how to move on without feeling like I’m forgetting her. I already have a hard time remembering little details sometimes and it bothers me that one day it will feel natural that she’s gone. I’m still working on balancing this one.

5. No change – Everything changes, I know that. But sometimes when I’m stuck in a major rut (ahem, like now), it feels like nothing will ever change. Key pieces of my life have to be in motion or I feel stuck and suffocated. That might be part of the reason I move a lot (although I moved a lot in my childhood, so I might just like moving). Granted, I don’t want good things to change, but it can be hard to stay patient when I’m waiting for something good to come along.

What are your greatest fears?