Boyfriend doesn’t use Twitter, but he apparently knows the lingo.

Boyfriend: On twitter, if you posted in the past, you twatted a tweet, you twat. And a quick tweet is called a twit. I twat a twit with my twitter tat. Tat is a computer solely made for twitter. And twot is a past-tense tweet in Boston…okay, I made that last one up.

Me: It’s not twat – it’s tweeted. The bird didn’t twat, silly. Or at least I hope not…that’s kind of gross.

Boyfriend: The bird doesn’t have the ability to twat? What is this world coming to? We can make Google a verb, ironic not what it actually means, and twitter a form of “mine. mine. mine.” So why can we not twitter in the past tense with twat? We met, not meeted! So I say in this bastard language fest we call English, why can we not twat? Twat I say!!

Me: …

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